


film z except sanji's the one who turns into a kid instead of nami

by MalkyTop



Series: he is beauty he is grace that's a lie please save this man from himself [6]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Age Regression, Gen, Kid Sanji, during film z, i just wanted this to happen so much instead, just more interesting stuff happening to the monster trio in movies, okay kid nami is cute and all but toei, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-21
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-10-30 20:44:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10884597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalkyTop/pseuds/MalkyTop
Summary: Written for the #32daysofsanji event. Prompt: Past/Future





	film z except sanji's the one who turns into a kid instead of nami

He had no idea what had just hit him, but it felt like...like...shit, who even knows.

First the woman in front of him (that pink-haired arm bastard called her Ain and what a sweet name that was, all soft and round and ending naturally in a smile, he could smile at Ain-chan all day); then there was some sort of pink flash and several strange feelings at once: sickening vertigo, an increase in pressure, all-enveloping weakness, hunger hunger hunger; and then he found himself clawing his way out of his own clothes, suddenly aware of how much smaller a space he was taking up and feeling very distressed about it.

“Sanji-kun!” he heard Nami belt out behind him, sounding just as confused as he was, and he turned around with wide eyes because in his history of jumping in front of people, nothing like _this_ has ever happened.

It was decidedly a _bad_ idea to all of a sudden turn into a kid in the middle of a battle.

Nami was already pointing her Clima-Tact back at Ain, but she seemed to hesitate, her eyes flicking back down to Sanji still in front of her and very much still in the crossfire. Ain certainly had no qualms, and already there was another weird pink glow heating up and then Chopper suddenly came from behind roaring bloody fury and Sanji took this chance to, to...run away.

It was hard. He had to hold his pants up, which meant having to find his hands in the mess of sleeves, and he just couldn't bunch enough fabric in his tiny palms to stop himself from tripping over everything anyways. He stumbled and shuffled his way around the ship, desperately finding some place on deck that wasn't part of the battlefield, because what the hell could he do? He couldn't kick, couldn't help, couldn't even think straight to come up with some sort of brilliant plan and take care of this whole shitfest. All he could hope for was to stay out of the way and curl up and try not to feel too bad about his complete and total _helplessness_ only to end up feeling bad anyways.

In the end, the ugly plant asshole strung him up like a pig on the chopping block and all Sanji could think was, at least the vines were keeping his clothes from falling off him.

* * *

“Well, for suddenly losing most of your mass within a few seconds, you seem to be healthy. Though you're rather thin for your, uh, age...”

“I was a picky eater,” Sanji mumbled, letting his shirt drape back over him. It was a miracle that they even had anything on board that wouldn't just fall off, but it just so happened that Sanji still had a few old T-shirts that were a little ratty, but serviceable. And for modesty's sake, even though the shirt pretty much covered everything there was to cover, he took one of Chopper's shorts. The downside was, they were _really_ itchy. Sharing clothes with a literal animal had some disadvantages.

“That's a relief, though...I was really worried about you. You lost, like, half your height! Anyways, Robin, if Sanji's not having problems, then I think you won't have much either, but let me examine you anyways...”

As Sanji slipped off the infirmary bed and padded over to a corner, he could hear Brook say, “Excuse me...I am going to be examined as well, correct?”

“Huh? Why?”

“Ah! I wasn't even considered!”

“Brook...you're a skeleton, bro. What's Chopper gonna examine.”

“I just like being included...”

“You're being pretty quiet,” Usopp commented, plopping right by where Sanji stood.

Sanji turned his head away and set a foot on the wall like he was ready to push off it and bolt. His hands grasped at his pockets, but he remembered belatedly that his cigarettes and lighter were still in his other – _actual –_ clothes. “Just...adapting, I guess.”

A few seconds passed, and then Usopp's hand fell on top of his head. It was surprisingly heavy, and when it ruffled his hair up he pulled away and brushed everything back into shape. “I hope when you were actually a kid, you didn't have _that_ sorta expression all the time.”

“ _What_ sort of expression,” Sanji shot back, though seeing Usopp's bittersweet smile made it clear that there was no insult meant.

“You look like someone _died._ If someone saw you on the streets, they'd probably try to adopt you.”

The image of some benevolent old lady scooping him up and carrying him away despite his protests might have been amusing in a different context (say, if it was Zoro instead of him), but for now it just drove home his small and pathetic appearance. He grit his teeth and flexed his toes against the grain of the wood. “So what, I'm supposed to be _happy_ about this?”

Usopp finally seemed to catch on to some fragment of what Sanji was feeling, and his next answer was slower, more deliberate. “Well...no, I didn't mean it like _that,_ just...I think if it were me, I'd feel maybe a little...nostalgic? Being a kid was pretty fun.”

“Being a kid sucked like _hell._ ”

“Whaaat? C'mon, it couldn't have been _all_ bad! I mean, didn't you go on adventures and stuff?”

Sanji gave him a withering look. “I go on adventures _now._ ”

“I meant _pretend_ ones! With no stakes, just goofing off and having fun! Or, like, climbing trees, or catching lizards!”

Sanji's withering look turned into an incredulous one. “You had to eat _lizards?_ ”

“What? _No!_ You catch lizards just to _catch_ them! You don't – why would you – “ Usopp cut himself off, looking more fidgety by the second. If there was one thing he was good at, it was sensing implications, whether they existed or not, and just running with them. Sanji could recognize that look of someone awkwardly and needlessly getting ready to broach a sensitive subject, and turned away again in the hopes that not looking would somehow solve this unwanted social situation. It didn't. “Sanji...um...so...your childhood was...”

“You guys, _pay attention!_ We're talking about what to do here!” Oh Nami, what a beautiful, precious angel, how did the earthly realm even deserve her presence?

“Of course~” Sanji sang as he bounded from the wall and joined back with the group. Usopp spared him one more glance before reluctantly following along.

“Anyways, we need to figure out what to do about... _this,_ ” Nami continued, gesturing towards Sanji. He tried not to glower, but wasn't it a little unfair? There were three other people she could have gestured towards, or she could have gestured towards them as a whole. _He_ didn't need to be the example of their problem. (Of course, he knew he _was,_ he was practically the _only_ example of their problem, he was the only one to have become pretty much _useless_ and everybody knew it.)

“What's to figure out?” Luffy asked, punching his fists together. “I gotta beat up that damn arm bastard and make him turn everybody normal!”

“ _He's not the cause of that!_ ”

“Yeah, Luffy, you got that wrong,” Zoro drawled. “We just gotta beat up that weird woman.”

“Whatever you're thinking of doing to her, you better damn for _get_ it, mossy rockhead.”

“I don't really think you're in the position to make threats, _kid._ ”

That stung more than it should have, and Sanji was left gasping for a retort, his stomach crimping in churning frustration. Nami stood between the two of them before he could say anything.

“Can't you two just _not_ fight for once? Think of the situation! And Sanji-kun, don't be stupid about this, we can't just ignore this whole... _de-aging_ thing. Anyways, as usual, Luffy and Zoro are wrong. What we need is _information._ ”

“Unfortunately, we have limited options. But there is a sea train station here that can take us to a nearby island at the least,” said Robin, and even though she looked younger, Sanji couldn't help but think that she didn't look like she changed at all. Maybe it was the increased height advantage. The feeling of having to crane his neck to see his friends' faces was...wrong. He looked down instead. “We won't necessarily find anything. But our...friend has been active in this general area, so it won't hurt to ask around.”

“Exactly. So Franky's gonna have to stay behind to fix up the ship, but I want everybody else helping.”

“Uh. Even Luffy?” Usopp jabbed a thumb captain-ward. Said captain was currently digging through his nose, having checked out of the conversation ever since he figured out his own game plan.

“...Well, Luffy doesn't have to worry about this. Zoro too. And...Brook, I really don't think you can even talk to people, looking like...that. So you'll have to keep them out of trouble.”

“I'm staying on the ship too,” Sanji blurted out, shuffling his feet from side to side when everybody turned their attention towards him. He shoved his hands in his pockets and, again, found nothing to grab.

“Really? But I was hoping you could help out...you'll be harder to recognize, you know?”

Sanji could feel his face turn red. It was like his blood was gurgling under his skin with anxiety, heating him up until he almost thought he would cry. “I...I don't...” Deep breaths. Don't be a goddamn baby. “I...still have to make dinner. And stuff. Besides, Franky could use some help, right?”

Everybody turned to Franky this time, but it felt like it was out of pity for Sanji's pure desperation. Franky, for his part, startled at the sudden attention and looked uncertainly back down at Sanji. “Uh...sure...”

Was it his imagination or did Nami look disappointed? He didn't want to know. Looking up at her would be the death of him, of his conviction to absolutely avoid any human contact. “I'm gonna start now,” he babbled, and ran to the kitchen, slamming the door behind him and not moving from that spot until he heard the clomping of shoes down the gangplank.

* * *

“Hey, little bro? So...haven't seen ya in a while, and I know I gotta fix some stuff in here...”

Franky cautiously pushed open the door when no answer was forthcoming. The entire room was dark, horror movie dark, and he immediately found himself treading as carefully as his modified body could. No sounds of cooking, or even any boiling water, no fragrant smells wafting from the kitchen...the place felt (and for some reason he was feeling much too reluctant to use the word) _dead._ And if he hadn't finally picked up on the sound of shallow breathing coming from the corner of the kitchen, his mind might have started going down some dark places.

“Sanji?” He found himself whispering, something that didn't feel right with a body as audacious as his. Subconsciously, he flicked on the lights and was quickly greeted by the sound of something clattering on the floor, accompanied by some very creative cursing. Franky rounded the corner in just a few strides and almost wedged himself in the kitchen door trying to get in, managing to catch Sanji in the middle of righting the trash can.

“What the hell!” Sanji shouted at him, though he was noticeably still hanging over the trash can, barely even sparing him a glance. “Knock next time!”

“I did.” The kitchen was a bit of a mess, though some ridiculous arm guy _did_ just wreck the place. It was just a little...sad to see it that way, given how much effort Sanji always put into keeping his space nice and neat. Franky sidled his way fully inside. “You...okay?”

“ _Yeah,_ ” he replied like an insult, and he seemed to get ready to say something else inflammatory but instead gave out a concerning sort of wet sound before retching into the trash. Franky instantly found himself by Sanji's side, holding him up, patting his back, and holy shit, was this even helping he didn't know what the hell crap crap crap.

“I'll get Chopp – aw crap, he ain't here, _shit,_ okay, maybe we can – “

“ _No,_ it's – “ Sanji paused to burble and cough out more bile mixed with something chunky. Franky turned his head away out of some sense of modesty. “It's...nothing. I'm fine.”

“Like _hell!_ Kids don't barf when they're _fine!_ You aren't even supposed to be a _kid_ anyways! Chopper talked all that stuff up about, like, 'losing mass' and shit, maybe this is it! We don't even know what can happen, you could _die,_ and – “

“ _I just_ – “ At first, Franky thought that Sanji was getting ready to evict something else from his stomach, but the sudden silence was just reluctance and the tensing in his back was only shame. “I just...ate too much...”

Now that was a shock, and now that Franky looked around a little closer, there did seem to be quite a bit of food scraps strewn around the place. Certainly not because of that damn arm bastard; not even a fight could bust that safe of a refrigerator open. He looked back down. Sanji shivered in his hands, vibrating with the fury that he kept reflecting inwards. He was trying to wipe at his face surreptitiously.

“Oh,” said Franky. “Um. You done?” Sanji nodded, and so he let him back on his feet.

“Don't tell anybody.”

“I don't really know what's going on in the first place, bro.”

Sanji kicked at the trash can and it wobbled and danced on its edge in neat circles until Franky stilled it once more. “It doesn't even happen for another _year!_ I shouldn't... _be_ like this! I shouldn't have to go through this again!”

There was definitely nothing Franky could say here. It seemed a little too private, even, something he shouldn't see, given how much he knew the cook preferred to keep a lot of his inner things _inner._ He wondered if he was supposed to leave.

“...I can't...I can't cook like this...if I see food...then...”

“Hey,” he said, his voice going uncharacteristically soft again. “One thing at a time. _Nobody_ can cook in this mess, right? Let's clean up first. And then I'll help with dinner. Sound good?”

Sanji nodded.

Maybe it was bad of him to think so, but Franky didn't actually want to help Sanji cook. He didn't want to have to see what would happen, didn't want to see a side of Sanji that contradicted all that he knew about him, something that took away his humanity and left...he didn't know what. But, and maybe because he was present, Sanji did nothing out of the ordinary. Franky was relieved, and felt guilty about it.

* * *

The rest of the crew returned with that uncomfortably serious air that seemed to have settled in Sanji's gut ever since this whole mess started. And then it turned out that Luffy had gotten shot with a seastone bullet.

Chopper dragged Luffy into the infirmary for surgery, despite his complaints that meat would _probably_ do the work, and everybody was left pacing outside, leaving dinner where it was on the table. Sanji tapped his foot. Tried not to think about food, not when his goddamn _captain_ was in trouble, but his stomach seemed to deflate and his skin felt too tight, his mouth too dry, and he made for the cigarettes that he always kept stocked in his kitchen, lit one up, filled himself up with smoke, and then immediately fell over coughing it all out.

He could instantly sense everybody surrounding him, picking him up off the ground, and all he could do was cover his mouth with his arm and struggle to keep his frail body still. Someone wrangled the lit stick out of his fingers and someone else was pounding his back and he couldn't tell them to _put him down_ so he said it with his kicks until they got the idea and then he was back on the floor, his eyes and nose like poorly-maintained dams. Through the tears, he could see Usopp awkwardly handing over a tissue but he used his sleeve instead.

Nobody said anything. And that was what he hated most.

“ _Shit,_ ” he said, just for some sort of noise, and he threw the pack of cigarettes to the floor so that it bounced and scattered. After a few seconds, Usopp moved to pick them up and set them back on the counter.

Things fell silent again until Luffy was finally let out, able to add a little color back into the atmosphere, even if it was mostly a lot of shouting and barely suppressed fury and also the usual gluttony, which freed everybody else to pretend that things were back to some sort of normalcy. Sanji mostly focused on trying not to swallow his plate because no matter what, he wasn't going to fall to _Luffy's_ level.

Even focused as he was, he managed to pay some attention to the conversation around him. At least, enough attention that he could immediately tell when it had suddenly stopped, and he looked up to see everybody either chewing slowly, or not chewing at all.

He felt like he was doused in ice. “What? What happened? What's wrong?”

“Nothing,” said Robin, touching her lips like she was trying to feel out the taste herself. “It's just...you've made everything rather...sweet, haven't you?”

It took a few seconds for Sanji to understand, and once he did, he let his head fall to the table and wondered if it was possible to just stay rooted there for the rest of his life. “I've got nine-year-old taste buds too,” he muttered with muted horror.

“W-well, it's not bad or anything, it's, it's kinda, cute?” Usopp tried to laugh.

“I like it,” Chopper said, muffled by food. Oddly enough, Sanji didn't feel comforted by that. Years of training, tasting, experimenting, categorizing and compartmentalizing, training his tongue to the utmost perfection, and _his taste buds were literally different._

* * *

“I'm not going,” Sanji said, and ducked his head again when everybody turned to look at him.

“What're you talking about? We're almost there,” he could hear Nami say, her legs swaying in front of him, and if he could actually look over the side of the ship he might have been able to see an island drifting in the distance.

He tucked his hands under his arms, dug his toes into the grass. “I'm just...I can't...I'm...not supporting a shitty plan that involves beating up a lady.”

Nami gently set a hand over her forehead. “For the love of...don't you think _now_ is kind of a bad time to bring this up? What do you want to _do_ here? You want to just stay on the ship? _Alone?_ When there's gonna be all kinds of marines _firing on us?_ ”

“Yeah.”

One pair of legs knelt down until Robin appeared, and it was unfair that she was looking him in the eye, so amazingly devious of her. “The only way for your ideal situation to come about is for that woman to either revert us back willingly or for us to just let her go. You understand that, right? And the first is not likely to happen while the second is simply not an option.”

Sanji tried to shrug as carelessly as he could, but ended up ducking his head further between his shoulders. “Then I guess I'm staying behind.”

“Look, I know you're usually ridiculous about stuff like this, but this time you're being _really_ ridiculous, like, I can't even _believe_ you're saying this right now because if we did things _your_ way, then you'd _never_ get back to normal – “

“In twelve years I will! That's fine, isn't it?!”

Usopp gaped a little before mimicking Nami's pose. “ _Are you even listening to yourself?_ It's _not_ fine, for _several_ reasons – “

“Cut the bullshit.”

Zoro's words sliced through the air as easily as his swords sliced through pretty much anything else, as though he had spent time sharpening them to perfection. They cut through all other sounds, and his accompanying glare prevented any new ones being made.

“If he wants to be a kid so bad, we can just toss him at some orphanage on the next island.”

“ _Zoro,_ don't be harsh! I know Sanji-kun's being stupid, but when you make that woman undo that thing, then he'll be – “

Nami fell silent when Zoro's hand moved towards his swords. “We don't need someone who won't pull their own weight.”

“Okay, now _you're_ being ridiculous! Luffy, _say_ something!” Nami turned towards the figurehead where the captain was perched, but he didn't even look back. The crew stood around, waiting for... _something,_ someone who would actually step up and defuse the situation, but nobody volunteered _._

“Pull my own weight? And what the hell kinda weight am I supposed to _pull_ here?!” Sanji withheld the urge to hit something in order to avoid embarrassment and ended up shaking with the unused energy. “ _I don't even have shoes that fit me!_ ”

“But you still joined this crew, and you _knew_ what joining this crew meant! Even if you're a dumbass cook, I _don't_ want to see you giving up over stupid shit like this!”

“Of _course_ I'm giving up!” And why couldn't he just push him over, pound on his chest, at least scream at him face-to-face like he usually did? It was unfair, it was so unfair. “When I was a kid, I was _useless,_ and now I'm a kid again! Everything that made me strong is _gone_ because I don't have weapons, I just have _me!_ If this happened to _anybody_ else, all of you would've been fine! Because unlike _me,_ all of you got Devil Fruits or weapons or actual goddamn _skills_ that have _nothing to do_ with how strong you are!”

A sharp looked crossed Zoro's face, and suddenly Sanji found himself pushed against the mast, held up at a height that he was actually used to but his current body wasn't. “You think I wouldn't have trouble if I were in your position? My swords would've been _useless_ to me as a kid. _But I wouldn't have given up._ ”

“That's 'cause you're _crazy,_ and I bet you were crazy as a kid too! But when _I_ was a kid, I was, I was just... _weak.”_ He found his voice trailing off, drifting away as he struggled to keep this burning feeling of raw shame deep down inside. But every time he breathed, it seemed to push its way up higher and higher until it pricked at his eyes and set fire to his nose and it was all he could do to pretend that nothing was happening at all. “Get it?” he quavered out. “I'm _weak._ And...and if any of you had to, to jump in and _rescue_ me because of that, or, or something, then...I'd just...I'd rather _die._ ”

This admission was met by the silence he had expected, equal parts horrified and pitying, exactly the thing he had been hoping to avoid. But he had forgotten that such silences didn't last very long on a ship like this with a captain such as his. Instead of everybody awkwardly leaving him alone, talking around him with falsely light, unfettered tones, another pair of arms draped around Zoro's shoulders and an extra head seemed to grow alongside his own. It looked remarkably like Luffy's.

While Zoro seemed rather annoyed by his sudden passenger, Sanji focused on the blankly serious stare that was focused back on him. Luffy blinked once. Grinned widely. “I don't ask weak people to join my crew. You're smaller than usual, but you're still Sanji, y'know? And you got _loads_ stronger in those two years and stuff!”

In the face of Luffy's inappropriate cheerfulness and surprisingly on-point commentary, Sanji reacted as he always did. Mostly bemusement. “Are...are you talking about...Observation Haki...?”

Luffy stared at him and then exploded into laughter, not taking notice of the way Zoro winced from the noise. “Oh yeah! You got that too!” And with that, he bounced off of Zoro and bounded his way back to the front of the ship.

The silence felt more communal this time, in a 'what the hell did Luffy just do' way. Zoro coughed and set Sanji back on the ground. “So. There you go. You can use Observation Haki.”

And even if he hated saying that Zoro was right, Zoro was right. His body was different but his willpower was the same. “I don't really know how to use it to help out, though,” he mumbled, feeling a little embarrassed about his earlier outburst now.

Franky shuffled his feet, raised a large hand in the air. “I could. Build a really cool drill. Or something.”

* * *

It was, admittedly, _really_ fun to dive up and down through the ground, just plowing up into surprised shitheads that didn't see him coming. But, he thought as he felt that weird tingling feeling again, only in reverse, he probably should have thought to bring some regular clothes to change into for when that thing that just happened, happened.

* * *

“Hey, hey Sanji! Over here!”

“These aren't for you,” Sanji said flatly on his way to the girls, tray of drinks balanced perfectly on his hand.

“No, not that (but will you make more), I need you to do something real quick. Like. Stand right here.”

Sanji looked down by the open hatch that Usopp was currently pointing at and looked back up at his too-wide smile. “Why.”

“Just do it. _C'moooooooooon.”_

Well, if he was a sucker for anything, it certainly _wasn't_ whining because people whining to make him do something just made him want to _not_ do that thing more. But he decided to concede this once because he supposed that's one of the things that friends do, probably. Usopp nodded as he strode in front of the hatch, circling around him and examining whatever the hell he was examining.

“Right. _Perfect._ ”

“I can go now, right? If you make me keep the ladies waiiiiiii _iiiiiit what the hell are you doing_ ” Quite suddenly and completely without warning, Franky had popped out of the hatch, ducked his way between Sanji's legs, and stood up so fast that the drinks on Sanji's tray bounced. It was only through years of training and sheer willpower that nothing spilled. But he was still currently perched in a position he wasn't quite prepared for, that is, _on top of Franky's freaking huge-ass shoulders._

“Well, when you were a kid, we didn't have a chance to do fun kid stuff together. And I thought that was a shame, so we're doing it now.”

“Now what we're doing here, bro, is called a piggy back ride – “

“ _I know what a piggy back ride is. PUT ME DOWN.”_

Even as high up as he was, he could still see Usopp's smug-ass smile, goddamn asshole. “Look, just relax! You should have fun once in a while, y'know? I mean, up there, you could pretend you're flying, or a pilot of a cool robot – “

“Hey. Battle Robot Franky,” Sanji said, slapping a hand on top of Franky's head. “Run that guy over.”

“ _Beep._ Affirmative.”

Usopp's smile dropped. “Wait. What?”

“Better run, Long Nose. Or my giant robot's gonna squash you.” Amazingly enough, Sanji's shit-eating grin perfectly matched Franky's manic one, and the two combined was enough for Usopp to realize, yes, this was absolutely happening.

Sanji spent almost two hours chasing Usopp down and pretending to fire laser beams. When it came to childhood nostalgia and all that junk, he supposed he had a lot of catching up to do.


End file.
